We are expecting baby #2!!
While we are thrilled, this isn't a decision that was taken lightly. It has taken me over three years to come to terms with the idea, and I still have the "what did I get myself into?!" feeling on almost a daily basis. To be honest, when I got the positive test result, I went into my room and cried for about twenty minutes (I don't think Jared even knows this). I was terrified. So many buried memories fought their way to the surface of my conciousness and burst out like a flood. Was I strong enough to do this again?
That being said, I am having SUCH a better pregnancy this time around, and am taking it as a sign that it's heading in a better direction (that or its a girl ;) My prediction is both! Despite my negative first paragraph, I have been striving to remain optimistic and am surprised that I haven't been as anxious as I anticipated. That will be put to the test once I pass my 20 week mark (I'm 13 right now).
Most people are curious what the doctors have told me regarding the possibility of pre-eclampsia reoccuring. So I will pass along the information I've gleened.... "WE DON'T KNOW". (Comforting right?) No, but before even considering pregnancy, I had a lengthy sit down with Maternal Fetal Medicine and the Perinatologist helped lay out some numbers for me. Unfortunately, the earlier the pre-eclampsia occurs and the more severe it is, the more likely to return in subsequent pregnancies. (Double strikes against me, considering I had it about as early and severe as it comes). The doctor said in cases as mine, the odds he gives for reoccurence is about 2/3 (66%). Of that 66%, 1/3 of it is a possibility it could onset even earlier than Emmett (which was 26 weeks), 1/3 is a possibility it comes as the same time, and 1/3 is a possibility it will occur - but be later into the pregnancy.
SO - that's a lot of fractions huh? It breaks down to about 44% it will hit extremely early again, 22% I will be affected later in the pregnancy, and 34% I will not experience it at all. Obviously I'm praying daily for the latter!! Factors I have in my favor are that I do not have any diseases/conditons they suspect to be related (such as lupus), and I'm young and healthy with good blood pressure.
While a little bit overwhelmed, I know this is part of Heavenly Father's plan for me, and I know he loves me and wants only the best for me. I truly feel in my heart that this experience is going to go better, and I'm comforted by the daily reminders that I have SO many people pulling for me/looking out for me. I feel like everytime I start to doubt, God sends some little reminder that I'm being watched over :)
I will continue to keep you updated of my status, and I'm sure there will be some belly pics soon!
