...and then my baby turned one

 Emmett pulled out a blog book I published a couple years ago this morning and it was so neat reliving so many memories and moments I'd forgotten (and sharing ones with Emmett he wasn't even around for yet!) And I kicked myself thinking Poor Tate, he's hardly made on appearance on here. So I'm going to dedicate this post to all things Taters.

We celebrated Tate's 1st birthday in both Idaho AND Utah which was so awesome! Not only were we able to party with both sides of the family, but also some of my very best friends. I love that even though we've been spread out, my college roommates and I have been able to be at so many big events for each other (baby showers, birthday parties, holidays etc).  Celebrating a special day is 100 times better when you're celebrating with loved ones!

The Idaho Celebration


And here's his birthday party in Utah

 

That's a whole lot of partying!!! Tate may be lacking on the blog presence but he can't say we neglected his birthday! (Is it sad that I'm so used to  my iphone, my writing feels incomplete without emojis?? Anywho...)

Tate is such a sweet, tender hearted baby. He's a momma's boy and he thinks big brother is the absolute coolest. The first thing he does when he wakes up in the morning is look for Emmett - if he's asleep he runs and throws himself on him, and if he's awake he squeals and takes off to join him.

He LOVES to eat and will eat anything, In fact I have to stop myself from creating a "golden boy" because every night when I'm trying to get Em to eat his dinner (yes, EVERY night, the boy refuses to eat), I say "Look, Tate ate all HIS dinner, and he likes it." If anyone in the house is eating ANY thing at ANY given moment, Tate can sense it and will be at your feet begging like a puppy dog in seconds. Drop any on the floor on accident? All the better, he'll gladly pick it up. If you don't share, his begging quickly turns to a meltdown - which will continue until he's given food. And it has to be the food you're eating, you can't pull the wool over his eyes.

He does NOT like when Emmett takes something he had first, and uses me as his attack dog. He gives me "the look" or comes running to me babbling his complaint, then looks at Emmett like "You weren't supposed to do that and now you're gonna get it!" The antics between these two are downright hilarious. They're just two little best friends.

Happy first birthday Tate, I can't imagine our family without you and I love you to pieces!!! Now just stay little ;-)

birthday shebang and visitors

October was stuffed to the brim with visitors and birthday celebrations (basically it was awesome. Top it off with Halloween and it's a pretty good contender for the best month of the year!) Also yes, I'm just now writing about October. oops.

It's midnight and I was doing some late night web surfing, then thought "what are you doing! You have at least five blog posts that need to be written! So I'm going to try and condense at least two of them into one here.

 My dad surprised my mom with a ticket out to visit us for her birthday! Of course with a sweet little babe she'd barely gotten to meet (between the NICU and short trip at his birth) there was nothing she wanted more. I'd heard really good things about The Coffee Shop and its right near the airport. So as soon as I picked her up we headed straight over! It may be one of my favorite places here so far. It's totally my kind of place - similar to Kneaders but more of a hipster/urban feel to it. Very coffee shop-esque. A coffee shop/bakery/grill. They serve gourmet sandwiches, wraps, and do breakfast too. Afterward we walked around the grounds - it's out in a cool farm area called Agritopia.

The following day was my moms birthday and we made sure to pack it full. We started it off with the firefighters breakfast and then came home for a bit, headed to Oregano's for lunch (and a free birthday pazookie of course!), then were off the Phoenix zoo!

This guy was a favorite

But after seeing him yawn, we quickly decided we wouldn't want to get on his bad side.

Right?!?!

Emmett got to have lots of time playing with Gramby in his playroom, and we made sure to hit up the hot tub a couple times. When it was time to say goodbye, we were all sad. We sure love Gramby and are so happy we got to spend her birthday with her!

The next weekend was MY birthday, and it just so happened it was the weekend of a cheap flight for my sister Kirsten! The coffee shop was such a success the first time, we (I) couldn't help making a pit stop on the way home again. Well actually The Coffee Shop is in the same place as Joe's Farm Grill (another delicious place that was on Food Network's Diners, Drive ins, and Dives). And Joes Farm Grill gives you a whole free meal on your birthday. So we went there first and split my birthday meal then walked over to the Coffee Shop for dessert.

This burger may look ordinary but it was topped with sauteed mushrooms and fresh blue cheese crumbles... it was delish.

Good thing we split our cupcake, cause when Jared come home from work he surprised me with this torte from Wildflower Bakery -which I'd never been to but am now a big fan!

Love this boy!!

Here's what the inside looked like... Yum. The bottom layer was like a soft homemade english toffee. And all that thick cream on top was heavenly. Almost cheesecake-ish

Oh and I forgot to mention that we went to Verizon the night before and picked out my birthday present!!

That's right, I joined the modern world and FINALLY got a smart phone!!! Ive been waiting for so long! And just like everyone says, I now don't know how I used to do without it! (Not sure that that's a good thing) Anyhow, I was beyond excited and love the cute buttercup yellow color!

That night we got MORE free food at Joe's Real BBQ (yes its the same Joe as Joe's Farm Grill. He does real well around these parts. And for good reason. His food is ahhhmazing). Gee on this post I'm realizing it seems like we just ate and ate and ate the entire day long... which I guess we did! 

Kris and I got up early on Saturday and headed out to Nordstrom Last Chance where we cleaned up with my birthday money! We then headed over to Scottsdale to Sprinkles Cupcakes which I've always wanted to try! 

I don't know if I can say it was without a doubt the best cupcake I've ever put in my mouth... but it was pretty darn good! You can tell its made with much finer ingredients than the average cupcake. 

That evening we went to my ward halloween party, but I'm saving that for the next post :)

I was so lucky to have family here on/around my birthday, cause really that was the best gift I could have asked for! I love them and miss them so much and had the best time partying it up and eating ourselves sick. haha what are birthdays for?! Emmett was beyond thrilled as well. Thanks to everyone who called, texted or left a facebook message for me - you all added to the wonderful day! 

tate the great (part 2)

Luckily I had decided his name moments before being wheeled back. We had been deliberating between three names, and before surgery I told Jared, " I think he should be Tate Farrell". Farrell is my middle name, which is a little unconventional for a son, but it is so fitting.

This pregnancy was such a trial of faith for me, and I grew so much (in every aspect!) in those 8 months. Not to mention I went through hell (maybe literally since we reached 118 this summer) to get him here! As i laid in my hospital bed, the chance of a future daughter to carry my name seemed to be slipping farther away, but this baby - he was mine. He was a product of my blood, sweat, tears, and unrelenting faith, and he was beautiful.

As the tugging started to get stronger, I knew the baby had to be close. I could feel the pressure and knew he must be close to the surface, but I hadn't heard any noise yet. I started to panic a little. Why didn't I hear crying? I looked up at the doctors to see if they were concerned, but they had their heads down and were working like a machine. Then it came: Tate's wonderful, beautiful little cry, announcing his arrival into the world. That cry is always the most emotional part. You hear your baby's little voice as he tells you hello for the very first time. "I'm okay mom! I'm here!" :-)

The doctors held him up above the curtain for me to see and tears flooded my eyes. He was a real baby! Still tiny, but just a miniature newborn, with a head of dark hair! I arched my neck and followed him over to the bed where they cleaned him up, checked his vitals, then finally swaddled him and put on his hat. A nurse brought him over for our first official introduction.

All I could do was stare. And smile. And cry. And stare. Then he was headed off the NICU. The last thing I was concious of was the doctors counting all their tools aloud (which kind of disturbed me a little). And then... I was out.

I awoke to little flashes of reality. The southern doctor was back and kept pushing on down hard on my stomach (ouch).

"Sorry baby, you're passing some pretty big clots. We need to stop the bleeding"

*back out*

This time an asian nurse that looked like Brenda Song (my sisters and all you Disney fans out there will know who I'm talking about!) was pushing down on me. She was also messing with my arm the IV was in, which was painful. So much for letting a wounded girl rest... haha. I looked over and saw Jared sitting in a chair next to me.

*back out*

I opened my eyes and saw Kirsten next to me this time. She had brought the diaper bag she'd finished packing for me. She said Emmett had been asking for me, and wanted to know if she should bring him back. I missed that little guy but was fighting the recovery wave and was not quite in condition yet. I could hardly stay lucid for more than 5 minutes. I looked down at my arm which I felt throbbing and saw it had been replaced with a giant, inhuman extremity.

"It looks a LOT better than it did", Kirsten said. "Your IV got infected."

Wonderful....

*back out*

Finally I was getting transported back to my room. By this time my family had arrived from Utah. They started driving as soon as they got word I was headed to surgery. Love them! I remember my Dad being there and telling me how good I'd done (funny, that was one of my first memories from last time too). And I remember Jared showing up with the one request I'd had when I was wheeled back to surgery. ("When I wake up I want a big snowcone from Bahama Mama's!") I could not have been more thrilled. I hadn't had a drink in forever (in prep for surgery) and that shaved raspberry ice tasted like heaven. Jared showed me pictures and video of Tate and told me he was doing well. I briefly said hello to the rest of my family and visited for a little bit before nodding off for the night.

*back out*

Next thing I knew my night nurse, a nice older german lady who introduced herself as Margarete. was waking me up. It was about 4 am. My anesthesia and pain meds had worn off and I was acutely aware of the slice across my abdomen. "I know it's going to hurt, but I have to get you up to walk around to keep the blood moving".  I don't remember doing this last time, but my gosh was it PAINFUL! I felt my recently stitched incision with every breath and slow, small step. I was determined however to heal as quickly as possible, and not be stuck in the hospital another week like I was after Emmett. I laid down proud of myself and drifted off to sleep.

I continued to get stronger each day. I was fighting off a fever as well, which had resulted from my infected IV. I made frequent trips up to visit my little Taters, who was holding up like a champ. I only had to wait one day to hold him this time as opposed to a month! It was wonderful.

Luckily since it wasn't sick season, the NICU visiting policies we not as strict as Emmett's stay. My Dad, Caysen, and Kirsten had to be back for school/work so they had to leave the next day, and my Mom, Kendall, and Kaity got to stay a couple more. I was so glad they all were able to meet Tate before leaving. 

There's something so special about introducing your baby to your family. You can see in their faces they love him *almost* as much as you. It's a really touching link to share the love of this tiny human, and finally understand the feelings your parents have about you.

By Wednesday August 14th, I was finally able to go home. Leaving the hospital with a baby in the NICU is always bittersweet. I'd been so antsy to leave and counting down the days, but I still started to tear up when we drove away. It doesn't feel right going home without your baby. You feel cruel leaving it alone, even though you don't have a choice. The mom guilt was already setting in and making me feel guilty that I was so anxious to go home and be with Emmett, yet I was leaving tiny little Tate alone.

Fortunately this time I was able to remind myself, it was a very temporary situation. It was only a matter of weeks (or so I thought at the time, but it ended up being days!) til Tate would be home with us. As I watched the hospital fade out of view in my rear view mirror, I was washed over by a wave of gratitude. Just as promised, it had all worked out. I was watched over. Tate was watched over. Emmett never spent a single second abandoned or alone (without family) , despite the fact that we live 10+ hours away from the nearest family member. I almost had to chuckle to myself. After spending nearly a year almost giving myself an ulcer, turns out Heavenly Father really DID have a plan. And I'm so glad I had the strength to follow it.

Cause it gave me tiny, perfect Tate.

our first visitors!

Okay I'm way behind on my blogging... but who are kidding?? I'm 30 weeks pregnant. I can't even keep up with my house. More truthfully, I can't even keep up with my KITCHEN. Or my toddler for that matter.

BUT I don't think it's going to get any easier in the coming weeks so I better catch up! We were so lucky to have my Mom and little brother Caysen visit for a week and check out our new home. Emmett LOOOOVES his Uncle Caysen and was in seventh heaven every day.

It was already heating up outside so it was hard to do a lot, but we managed to squeeze in some fun things!

We went and saw the temple (which Caysen wasn't thrilled about haha). "Its VACATION, isn't there something better to do than the TEMPLE?" Gotta love kids minds! He was a trooper and braved the 108 degree heat to check it out though.

 I also got to paint the dark red wall in our place that bothered me everytime I looked at it! What started out looking out like this...

Went through a transformation to this

The rest of our walls are kind of an apricot shade, and I painted the accent wall a light blue-grey shade. Now it has a much lighter, airy-er, coastal feel. I've already painted a large frame for the wall white, and I plan to eventually give the desk a fresh coat of white paint as well. Someday I'll update a complete picture of the office/loft.

They tried to catch fish in the lake by our house. Unsuccessful... maybe we need some fishing poles??

They got to watch one of Emmett's Pee Wee PE classes (so funny!)

and of course we spent lots of time at the pool!

We also went to the Phoenix Zoo which was really cool! I got season passes so I'm excited to go back again and again. It's so big there are whole areas we didn't even make it to (and we even did a little tram tour).

Okay, this animal (which I don't remember the name of... something from Africa) can supposedly detect movement with their peripheral vision up to 3 miles away. 3 MILES!! How crazy it that?! I can't even SEE for three miles, let alone tell you if something is moving. That's basically super power status.

We petted AND fed the stringrays! Not going to lie, it was a little bit scary! They had these little sardines frozen and chopped and half, and you had to hold them deep down in the water UNDER the stingray (their mouths are on the bottom). Then it swam up to you and sucked it up like a vacuum!

And here's me in all my pregnant glory posing with the giraffes.... I DO exist! Even though I spend most of my time hiding behind the camera these days.

I was so sad the day my mom and Caysen left! There really is nothing like family. It breaks my heart when Emmett tells me he wants to go over to their house (which is like every other day).
 Thank goodness this baby is coming soon so we'll be getting lots more visitors!!! Next on the roster Kaity and Kirsten are coming out (in a couple weeks) and are going to throw me my first official baby shower! Woot woot! (Fingers crossed!)

Thanks for coming out guys, we love you so much and miss you!!

the ending of a chapter

Writing those words are so sad! Life in little Provo, Utah has been such a happy, wonderful chapter in our life, and to say moving on from it was hard is an understatement. The past few months have been such a blur - A whirlwind of phone calls, doctor appointments, moving boxes, family get togethers, excitement and tears.

Here's a look our "final pages" in Provo, if you will.

 

When Uncle Jake came down for a visit, we spent a morning up at Bridal Veil Falls. Couldn't leave without saying goodbye to the beautiful canyon! 

*Also, somewhere up that mountain lies the remains of Jakes skinny corduroys, which he naively decided were great attire for climbing up the falls.

Before we knew it, our little house was all packed up, and everything we had to our name was shoved in the back of a truck.

It's so weird knowing your entire life can be contained in this:

Since Jared and his parents headed down a couple days ahead of Emmett and I, we said our final goodbyes to our home.

After a quick kiss and a "See you in Arizona", I cried watching Jared turn the corner in our Grand Prix for the very last time.

 

(yes, I documented it)

I am so grateful for all the friends, family, and members of our church who helped make this move possible. Between the quickness of the move and my pregnancy, we wouldn't have been able to do it without you!!

 

Emmett and I got to spend a couple days at Gramby's house before our flight, and Kaity and Rusty even came and stayed too so it was a grand ol' party.

We decided to go to Hogle Zoo on Saturday.

There's no shortage of pictures - last day remember??

 

 

There was a LEGO exhibit going on while we are there, and the top two pictures are a couple of their displays. They were pretty cool! The trick was convincing Emmett he couldn't ride that Polar Bear... he was pretty upset about that. He was also into the "Scuba Steve" outfit more than any of the animals... Go figure.

While we are/ have been excited for our new chapter, closing one is never easy. Thanks for a wonderful few years Provo!