tick tick tick...

I'm so sick and tired of stressing daily over moving (and not even knowing where to attribute my stress to). I know I'm being a baby about it, and that people move for jobs all the time. But why does it seem like so many other people are able to find jobs near their home or family?

It doesn't help that I'm pregnant, and already at my stress limit hoping my pre-eclampsia doesn't occur again. For those of you that don't know/remember, I moved down to Utah about 2 days before I was admitted to the hospital at 26 weeks with Emmett. I didn't have an OB (I planned on having plenty of time to find one), or even know where the nearest Urgent Care was (We ended up driving to one somewhat far away and subsequently I ended up at a hospital in Orem instead of the one right by us in Provo. I had to be transferred). I didn't have any family here, or know anyone to call in for blessing. When a doctor DID come to take care of me, he had never seen me before in his life and didn't realize that I bore almost no resemblance to my actual self. Did I mention the boxes at our apartment still hadn't even been unpacked?

Needless to say, it was crazy stressful and traumatic. My comforting thought with this pregnancy was "this time I'm going have highly experienced doctors following me all the way through, and it will be nothing like last time". I know we're supposed to have faith in the Lord's timing, but sometimes I'm just like "really?! A possible move right around that 26 week period AGAIN?" I really try to remain positive but it's so easy to spiral into a myriad of anxious thoughts "What if the exact same thing happens? What if I've just moved away from my family again at the time I need them most? What if I'm admitted to the hospital and have no one around to watch Emmett? ... and on and on and on.

On top of those stresses, I seem to have found a million more to lose sleep over. Will I like the place we live? Will we be safe? ... Really there's a million other questions I come up with but they all boil down to those first two. "Liking" the place I live entails so many things.. the weather, the landscape, the proximity to family, the size, the community etc.

Sometimes I feel like I picture our happy little family settling into a place like this:

and doing things like this

and this

and this

While Jared pictures us content somewhere like this

doing this

and this

I realize that both have their perks, and as long I have my family we can make ourselves happy anywhere. It's just a little nervewracking to know that inside we gravitate towards different things. 

But MORE importantly than any of those things, I picture myself near THIS

and this

Ultimately in MY perfect world, I realize to stay near family we'll be staying in a colder, mountainous climate (we're in Utah after all)... BUT if I CAN'T have family, I at least want the weather as consolation!!

If you're still reading, congratulations, you have survived today's venting session. I have so much stress pent up inside me I can't promise it will be the last! But cross your fingers we will end up somewhere great, safe, happy, and my baby will not make a surprise arrival again!!

the bunny found us in rexburg!

That Easter bunny... he has a knack for finding us wherever we go :-) This year found us in the good ol 'burg where we had lots of fun with cousins and easter festivities. Emmett sure loves his cousins!

We started out early Saturday morning with an egg hunt at Fat Cat's... FAIL. Too many kids (and parents), indoors, in too small a space, with too few eggs. Haha. Emmett ended up with two (one of which I admittedly grabbed). And on top of it, it was early - and thanks to traveling and little sleep, my morning sickness was in full force :(  Needless to say I put the kabash on the egg hunts for the day while the cousins headed off to another one.

When everyone one returned we had an egg dying party and the kids got their easter gifts from Grandma  and Grandpa Erickson, one of which was this awesome giant truck coloring book.

The cousins played and played and played. Climbing, bubbles and biking galore.

Emmett also got "wheeler" rides with Papa AND Daddy, so that alone made his day.

Here's a cute shot of all the cousins enjoying the sunshine

Then... Finally it was EASTER! 

Emmett woke up and found the basket and eggs that silly bunny hid back in the garden.

The Easter Bunny hopped on by with some Easter cupcakes (aka Aunt Sarah). Who, by the way, is wearing  the outfit we bought her for her bridal shower - sexy bunny right? ;)

Next we got ready for church to go celebrate what Easter is truly about! Christ's resurrection is one of the gospel principles that brings me the most joy. It is a promise of what we have to look forward to.

Have you ever seen such a handsome little boy??

After our Easter dinner, the kids had the time of their life playing in a child sized zorb!

I love being close to both of our families, and pray daily that Jared finds a job in close proximity to them. Family is the most important thing to me, and the thought of only seeing them during summer and holidays makes me so sad!

Thanks to both our families for such a fun Easter, and for spoiling little Ems! We love you guys!

easter fun at awful waffle

Awful Waffle is one of my favorite places to eat in Provo, so I was super excited when I heard about the Easter Event they were throwing! My excitement TRIPLED when I got there and realized both Emmett AND I got FREE meals complete with drinks!! I wasn't expecting that!

After we ordered our food, we headed to a couple different craft tables. First we hit up the bunny ears station.

Emmett was pretty excited about them - once I put them on he got up and started bunny-hopping around the restaurant.

Next we headed over bunny puppet bag station, and our food was served!

Emmett was loving his waffle with fresh strawberries, bananas and whipped cream

...while I enjoyed this delicious pesto-spinach pizza

Shortly after was a quick egg hunt (which also happens to be the best we attended this year! No crazy mobs or competitive parents, and Emmett actually got a little bag full of eggs)

trying sooo hard to reach! haha

Before taking off, we made a stop by a couple of the photo spots

Big shout out to Awful Waffle, Dream Catcher Baby, and Kinder for putting together such a fun community event! We had a blast!