Thank you so much for all of the love and support you have given us over these past couple months. I am so overwhelmed by how many of you have reached out to us and kept us in your prayers. We have definitely felt all your prayers, they help give us strengh to make it through each day.
I am so grateful to have such wonderful family and friends. Every phone call, e-mail, thought, facebook message, blog comment, etc is truly appreciated. Each one of you are an answer to my prayers, helping me to stay strong and feel comforted.
We love you guys!
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Friday, February 26, 2010
Lovebug
My little Emmett is growing up right before my eyes! Every day he gets stronger and stronger (and bigger and bigger! yay!) He is such a little love and is the BEST snuggler! He LOVES to snuggle. The nurses joke that I need to become to human incubator and just sit there around the clock...which I wouldn't have a problem with. He knows his mommy, and he is even starting to know the times that I'm supposed to come and hold him. If I don't show up on time, he lets everyone know it!There's no pulling the wool over his eyes!
We have ridden quite the roller coaster in the past couple weeks. It can be so up and down from one day to the next, and I don't know if I can handle any more "down" days. I love him so, so much and it is the hardest thing I've ever had to do to watch him go through so much and feel so completely powerless. Sometimes I just want to run and grab him in my arms and cuddle him until he gets better. If only it were that easy... Our latest hurdle is getting the breathing and eating down simultaneously. It is hard for babies (especially babies that have tubes down their throats) to swallow milk without any getting down into their airways. Unfortunately Emmett has had trouble with that a couple times, and it was incredibly scary.
Now let's focus on the "up" parts of the roller coaster. Here are some milestones of progress Emmett has made in the past few weeks:
- Hit 4 pounds, and is currently well on his way to 5! (Last night he was 4 pds, 5 ounces)
- Had his little waterbed taken out (progress towards maintaining his own body temp)
- Had his first eye check (it looked good)
- Had his first swaddle bath in a real bathtub! (he loved it!)
- Had a Broviac put in (a central line that was put into his chest so he won't have to continually be poked anymore. Not exactly a milestone, but a big event nonetheless.
- Opens his eyes more often. Seems more awake and alert, and focuses in on Jared and I.
- His bed has been moved to a corner right next to a window, and my siblings have finally been able to look at him! It was so cute to watch all their faces as the nurses held him up.
Lastly I will leave you with pictures of his latest adventures! Stay tuned for updates!
After his bath, Jared combed his hair into the worlds tiniest mohawk! Cutest thing EVER!
Did you think it was possible for our baby to have hair that light?! I didn't!
I love this picture because it looks like he's smiling! He loves his binki!
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Emmett's First Hold
Our little Emmett is officially a month old!! I can hardly believe it! He is looking more and more adorable with every day that passes. Today I noticed his little knees are starting to look chubby, it is the cutest thing!
Just in time for his one month birthday, we finally got to have our first holds! I had been waiting for what seemed like forever to get him in my arms. I am pretty sure that he had been counting down the days as well. When I called the nurse that morning and she told me the Doctor said we could hold him that day, I almost cried I was so happy! I jumped up and showered, got dressed as fast as I could, gathered all the cameras, and hurried Jared out the door.
Just in time for his one month birthday, we finally got to have our first holds! I had been waiting for what seemed like forever to get him in my arms. I am pretty sure that he had been counting down the days as well. When I called the nurse that morning and she told me the Doctor said we could hold him that day, I almost cried I was so happy! I jumped up and showered, got dressed as fast as I could, gathered all the cameras, and hurried Jared out the door.
I can't even explain how it felt to finally have his warm little body next mine. He is so precious, and even opened his eyes to look at me as soon as he was in my arms. My heart felt like it was going to burst; After a painstakingly long month, I was finally reunited with my baby again. All his vitals stabilized, and he seemed perfectly calm and content. It was so amazing to feel that special bond, and know that I was comforting him just as much as he was comforting me.
His oxygen mask is called a Nasal C-PAP, and is a step up
from the ventilator. Go Emmett!
It was so neat seeing Jared hold him for the first time. As soon as they placed him in his arms, I could tell he was flooded with the same feelings I felt. He kind of chuckled and said "Wow". That's all he needed to say, I knew exactly what he meant.
Now my days revolve around holding him! I love love love having him next to me, and never want to let him go.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
My Little Miracle
I have learned quite a few lessons this past month. Life does not always go the way we plan it. Bumps sometimes come along our path, and possibly even knock us off course, but it is those very bumps that allow for miraculous things to take place. In my case, the bump in the road has led to the happiest experience of my life: the birth of my son Emmett.
I know that most of you have only heard bits and pieces of the story, so I will do my best to give you the Sparknotes version (it's quite the lengthy tale).
It began on Thursday, January 7th, when I went in for a routine check-up at the dermatologist. I am involved in a study they are doing, so they took my weight and blood pressure. My blood pressure was a little bit high (138/90) which is alarming when you are pregnant, and I had shot up almost 10 pounds since the last time I had been weighed. I left stressed and worried, wondering what was going on and why I was so swollen. I had read about Pre-Eclempsia, and went home and did some more research on it. My fears increased as I realized I had all of the warning signs, and on top of it a general feeling that something wasn't right. I couldn't sleep that night. I knew that something was off and I was worried for both me and my baby.
The next morning I called my OB, and he said my symptoms were definitely worrisome and I should go the ER to get checked. Jared and I decided to check my blood pressure again, to make sure that the previous day had not just been a faulty reading. We went to Wal-Mart, where this time my blood pressure read 166/110. I checked it a second time, sure that the reading had to be off, but sure enough I got the same result. We headed over to an Urgent Care, where they tested for protein in my urine (the presence of protein is the telltale sign of Pre-Eclempsia). They did find protein, and by this time my blood pressure had already jumped up to 170s/115. The Nurse was very panicked, and told us we needed to get over the hospital immediately, while warning us of all kinds of things such as permanent kidney and liver damage.
I was so scared I couldn't even cry. What was happening to me? What was going to happen to my baby? Whether it was fear or high blood pressure I'm not sure, but my body was starting to feel shaky. We drove over to the nearest hospital (Timpanogos) and Urgent Care called them to inform them I was coming.
As soon as I got there, they immediately put me into a gown and started buzzing all around me. I had at least 6 different nurses working on me at once, starting an IV, hooking me up to Magnesium Sulfate, starting a catheter, hooking up a monitor on my baby, drawing blood, etc. I didn't know what was going on was that serious until this point. I heard the head nurse saying she wanted every nurse on the floor on me, and I started to get choked up. This can't be happening, I thought.
Eventually my OB came and talked to me about what was going on. I was suffering from Pre-Eclampsia, which can also be known as Toxemia or PIH. It is a disease that has no known cause or cure, other than to deliver the baby. The baby essentially becomes toxic to the mothers body, and the body begins to shut down. The plan was to keep a close watch on me and have me hold out as long as possible. It was a balancing game of holding out for the health of the baby, but not waiting too long in order to make sure I was safe. My mom called and said she'd be on the first flight the next morning, which was a relief. That night I just prayed and prayed that my baby and I would be protected, and that I would have the strength to hold out as long as I possibly could.
I made it through a few days, and by that time we could tell I was getting close. I was getting more and more swollen by the day, and my blood pressure continued to increase. My doctors had me moved over to Utah Valley Hospital where they were equipped for Preemies Emmett's age.
After reaching the new hospital, I started to go downhill. I started getting headaches so painful, even morphine couldn't make them go away. My blood pressures were around 225/125 by this point, and I had gotten so swollen I could hardly walk. I had a consultation with the perinatologist that day, and he said a c-section needed to be scheduled for that afternoon, January 12th.
Finally the time had come for the surgery. They wheeled me down to the operating room and gave me an epidural. About 10 minutes later, they began. I realized pretty quickly that I wasn't all the way numb. Needless to say it was an intensely painful half hour (I'm actually not sure how long it took, I had no concept of time!) And then it happened... I heard the most incredible sound I've ever heard. Tears filled my eyes as I heard Emmett's first magnificent cry. He weighed in at an unbelievable 1 lb, 15 ounces.
The next day I was able to be wheeled up to see Emmett. My heart filled as I sat there and looked at his tiny, miraculous body. I have never before felt a love so strong. It overcame all of my senses, and tears streamed down my face. I felt so lucky and so blessed to have been given the most precious gift I could ever ask for. As his tiny fingers wrapped around mine, I knew that he truly was a miracle of God.
It took a week after my C-section to get my blood pressures down, and my body back in order. It wasn't exactly smooth sailing. Once they even thought I was well enough to discharge, only to find that I took an abrupt turn. They got a Critical Care doctor involved who took over the blood pressure aspect of my care. After trial and error of multiple medications, they found a "recipe" of 3 different types of blood pressure medicines (15 pills a day!) to control my pressures.
When the day finally came to be discharged from the hospital, I couldn't believe it. I had spent a long two weeks in the hospital bed, and was amazed to see the outside world.
Now, a month later, I am still in the process of recovery but feeling much more back to my usual self. I spend most of my time sitting next to Emmett, and would spend every waking second there if I could. He is my light, my little miracle, and words cannot express the gratitude I have for him. He is doing really well so far, and is up to 3 pounds, 3 ounces! He is so strong it's incredible. What baby that weighs 1 lb, 15 ounces gets 9/9 on his apgar?! Emmett does :-)
I know that most of you have only heard bits and pieces of the story, so I will do my best to give you the Sparknotes version (it's quite the lengthy tale).
It began on Thursday, January 7th, when I went in for a routine check-up at the dermatologist. I am involved in a study they are doing, so they took my weight and blood pressure. My blood pressure was a little bit high (138/90) which is alarming when you are pregnant, and I had shot up almost 10 pounds since the last time I had been weighed. I left stressed and worried, wondering what was going on and why I was so swollen. I had read about Pre-Eclempsia, and went home and did some more research on it. My fears increased as I realized I had all of the warning signs, and on top of it a general feeling that something wasn't right. I couldn't sleep that night. I knew that something was off and I was worried for both me and my baby.
The next morning I called my OB, and he said my symptoms were definitely worrisome and I should go the ER to get checked. Jared and I decided to check my blood pressure again, to make sure that the previous day had not just been a faulty reading. We went to Wal-Mart, where this time my blood pressure read 166/110. I checked it a second time, sure that the reading had to be off, but sure enough I got the same result. We headed over to an Urgent Care, where they tested for protein in my urine (the presence of protein is the telltale sign of Pre-Eclempsia). They did find protein, and by this time my blood pressure had already jumped up to 170s/115. The Nurse was very panicked, and told us we needed to get over the hospital immediately, while warning us of all kinds of things such as permanent kidney and liver damage.
I was so scared I couldn't even cry. What was happening to me? What was going to happen to my baby? Whether it was fear or high blood pressure I'm not sure, but my body was starting to feel shaky. We drove over to the nearest hospital (Timpanogos) and Urgent Care called them to inform them I was coming.
As soon as I got there, they immediately put me into a gown and started buzzing all around me. I had at least 6 different nurses working on me at once, starting an IV, hooking me up to Magnesium Sulfate, starting a catheter, hooking up a monitor on my baby, drawing blood, etc. I didn't know what was going on was that serious until this point. I heard the head nurse saying she wanted every nurse on the floor on me, and I started to get choked up. This can't be happening, I thought.
Eventually my OB came and talked to me about what was going on. I was suffering from Pre-Eclampsia, which can also be known as Toxemia or PIH. It is a disease that has no known cause or cure, other than to deliver the baby. The baby essentially becomes toxic to the mothers body, and the body begins to shut down. The plan was to keep a close watch on me and have me hold out as long as possible. It was a balancing game of holding out for the health of the baby, but not waiting too long in order to make sure I was safe. My mom called and said she'd be on the first flight the next morning, which was a relief. That night I just prayed and prayed that my baby and I would be protected, and that I would have the strength to hold out as long as I possibly could.
I made it through a few days, and by that time we could tell I was getting close. I was getting more and more swollen by the day, and my blood pressure continued to increase. My doctors had me moved over to Utah Valley Hospital where they were equipped for Preemies Emmett's age.
After reaching the new hospital, I started to go downhill. I started getting headaches so painful, even morphine couldn't make them go away. My blood pressures were around 225/125 by this point, and I had gotten so swollen I could hardly walk. I had a consultation with the perinatologist that day, and he said a c-section needed to be scheduled for that afternoon, January 12th.
Finally the time had come for the surgery. They wheeled me down to the operating room and gave me an epidural. About 10 minutes later, they began. I realized pretty quickly that I wasn't all the way numb. Needless to say it was an intensely painful half hour (I'm actually not sure how long it took, I had no concept of time!) And then it happened... I heard the most incredible sound I've ever heard. Tears filled my eyes as I heard Emmett's first magnificent cry. He weighed in at an unbelievable 1 lb, 15 ounces.
The next day I was able to be wheeled up to see Emmett. My heart filled as I sat there and looked at his tiny, miraculous body. I have never before felt a love so strong. It overcame all of my senses, and tears streamed down my face. I felt so lucky and so blessed to have been given the most precious gift I could ever ask for. As his tiny fingers wrapped around mine, I knew that he truly was a miracle of God.
When the day finally came to be discharged from the hospital, I couldn't believe it. I had spent a long two weeks in the hospital bed, and was amazed to see the outside world.
Now, a month later, I am still in the process of recovery but feeling much more back to my usual self. I spend most of my time sitting next to Emmett, and would spend every waking second there if I could. He is my light, my little miracle, and words cannot express the gratitude I have for him. He is doing really well so far, and is up to 3 pounds, 3 ounces! He is so strong it's incredible. What baby that weighs 1 lb, 15 ounces gets 9/9 on his apgar?! Emmett does :-)
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