Thursday, February 11, 2010

My Little Miracle

I have learned quite a few lessons this past month. Life does not always go the way we plan it. Bumps sometimes come along our path, and possibly even knock us off course, but it is those very bumps that allow for miraculous things to take place. In my case, the bump in the road has led to the happiest experience of my life: the birth of my son Emmett.
I know that most of you have only heard bits and pieces of the story, so I will do my best to give you the Sparknotes version (it's quite the lengthy tale).
It began on Thursday, January 7th, when I went in for a routine check-up at the dermatologist. I am involved in a study they are doing, so they took my weight and blood pressure. My blood pressure was a little bit high (138/90) which is alarming when you are pregnant, and I had shot up almost 10 pounds since the last time I had been weighed. I left stressed and worried, wondering what was going on and why I was so swollen. I had read about Pre-Eclempsia, and went home and did some more research on it. My fears increased as I realized I had all of the warning signs, and on top of it a general feeling that something wasn't right. I couldn't sleep that night. I knew that something was off and I was worried for both me and my baby.
The next morning I called my OB, and he said my symptoms were definitely worrisome and I should go the ER to get checked. Jared and I decided to check my blood pressure again, to make sure that the previous day had not just been a faulty reading. We went to Wal-Mart, where this time my blood pressure read 166/110. I checked it a second time, sure that the reading had to be off, but sure enough I got the same result. We headed over to an Urgent Care, where they tested for protein in my urine (the presence of protein is the telltale sign of Pre-Eclempsia). They did find protein, and by this time my blood pressure had already jumped up to 170s/115.  The Nurse was very panicked, and told us we needed to get over the hospital immediately, while warning us of all kinds of things such as permanent kidney and liver damage.
I was so scared I couldn't even cry. What was happening to me? What was going to happen to my baby? Whether it was fear or high blood pressure I'm not sure, but my body was starting to feel shaky. We drove over to the nearest hospital (Timpanogos) and Urgent Care called them to inform them I was coming.
 As soon as I got there, they immediately put me into a gown and started buzzing all around me. I had at least 6 different nurses working on me at once, starting an IV, hooking me up to Magnesium Sulfate, starting a catheter, hooking up a monitor on my baby, drawing blood, etc. I didn't know what was going on was that serious until this point. I heard the head nurse saying she wanted every nurse on the floor on me, and I started to get choked up. This can't be happening, I thought.
Eventually my OB came and talked to me about what was going on. I was suffering from Pre-Eclampsia, which can also be known as Toxemia or PIH. It is a disease that has no known cause or cure, other than to deliver the baby. The baby essentially becomes toxic to the mothers body, and the body begins to shut down. The plan was to keep a close watch on me and have me hold out as long as possible. It was a balancing game of holding out for the health of the baby, but not waiting too long in order to make sure I was safe. My mom called and said she'd be on the first flight the next morning, which was a relief. That night I just prayed and prayed that my baby and I would be protected, and that I would have the strength to hold out as long as I possibly could.
I made it through a few days, and by that time we could tell I was getting close. I was getting more and more swollen by the day, and my blood pressure continued to increase. My doctors had me moved over to Utah Valley Hospital where they were equipped for Preemies Emmett's age.
After reaching the new hospital, I started to go downhill. I started getting headaches so painful, even morphine couldn't make them go away. My blood pressures were around 225/125 by this point, and I had gotten so swollen I could hardly walk. I had a consultation with the perinatologist that day, and he said a c-section needed to be scheduled for that afternoon, January 12th.
Finally the time had come for the surgery. They wheeled me down to the operating room and gave me an epidural. About 10 minutes later, they began. I realized pretty quickly that I wasn't all the way numb. Needless to say it was an intensely painful half hour (I'm actually not sure how long it took, I had no concept of time!) And then it happened... I heard the most incredible sound I've ever heard. Tears filled my eyes as I heard Emmett's first magnificent cry. He weighed in at an unbelievable 1 lb, 15 ounces.
The next day I was able to be wheeled up to see Emmett. My heart filled as I sat there and looked at his tiny, miraculous body. I have never before felt a love so strong. It overcame all of my senses, and tears streamed down my face. I felt so lucky and so blessed to have been given the most precious gift I could ever ask for. As his tiny fingers wrapped around mine, I knew that he truly was a miracle of God.

It took a week after my C-section to get my blood pressures down, and my body back in order. It wasn't exactly smooth sailing. Once they even thought I was well enough to discharge, only to find that I took an abrupt turn. They got a Critical Care doctor involved who took over the blood pressure aspect of my care. After trial and error of multiple medications, they found a "recipe" of 3 different types of blood pressure medicines (15 pills a day!) to control my pressures.
When the day finally came to be discharged from the hospital, I couldn't believe it. I had spent a long two weeks in the hospital bed, and was amazed to see the outside world.
Now, a month later, I am still in the process of recovery but feeling much more back to my usual self. I spend most of my time sitting next to Emmett, and would spend every waking second there if I could. He is my light, my little miracle, and words cannot express the gratitude I have for him. He is doing really well so far, and is up to 3 pounds, 3 ounces! He is so strong it's incredible. What baby that weighs 1 lb, 15 ounces gets 9/9 on his apgar?! Emmett does :-)

8 comments:

  1. Cassie, I had no idea you were going through this! I am so glad that both you and Emmett are doing well. He is a little cutie!!

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  2. Thanks so much for posting an update, your little family has been in our thoughts and prayers since we heard the news. Being a mother is such a precious gift, I am so glad that Emmett is such a strong little boy. We love you guys!

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  3. We are do glad you and EmmetT are doing better. We have been so worried about you guys. If there is anything we can do to help please let us know. You three are so strong. Thanks for the story. it is fun to hear it from you. We will keep praying for you guys.

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  4. What an amazing story. You must have been so frightened. I'm glad to hear that both of you are doing well now. Emmett looks like a strong little guy and it will be a truly wonderful day when he can come home.
    If you would like to touch base with other parents of preemies, try visiting the March of Dimes community called Share Your Story (http://www.shareyourstory.org/webx/Share%20Home/) You'll find it hugely supportive.

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  5. Great post Cass. Emmett looks so good in the second picture. He really is feeling out. Emmett certainly is a fighter. HE comes by it rightfully. He has some pretty strong parents! Love you guys.

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  6. Cassie - thanks for sharing your story. We've been thinking about you, Jared and Emmett and you've been in our prayers. It was sure nice to visit over dinner last weekend. :)

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  7. cassie - i am soooooo thrilled you and your little babe are doing well. your story just made me about cry. i am so glad you and emmett are safe. i will keep you in my prayers. you are a beautiful mum.

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  8. Cassie, I just ran across your blog and -wow- I didn't know you were even pregnant! I guess it's been a while since I've seen you :) I'm sorry you all had to go through that, how difficult! I'm glad things are turning out well; he is adorable!! I love all his funny faces. I hope it's ok that I stopped by! -diane washburn koller
    www.thekillerkollers.blogspot.com

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