The problem with the blogosphere is the overwhelming amount of blogs that gush about their perfect, Brady Bunch, unrealistic lives. Either that or most the people I read about happened to find the worlds perfect man and gave birth to angels.
I know we are supposed to focus on the positive, and for the most part I try to do that too. But journals/blogs are supposed to be an accurate glimpse into the daily life of the writer - Flaws and all. I want to look back 20 years from now and remember the real, raw emotions of this time of my life and not just the facade that gets put on for others. I hate the competitiveness - people having to prove their life is as wonderful as their neighbors.
And it's not that I'm not affected by it. I hate the guilt I feel when I get sucked into looking at others blogs and wondering how they just seem to have it all together.
Granted this post is fueled by the difficult day I've had today. Really when I lay it all out, it's not that the events are that horrible, it's just one of those days. My family left this morning to go to Newport Beach and Disneyland for a whole week. I would love to be there with them. But Jared couldn't miss class and it was planned with pretty short notice, so here we are. The guy my sister's dating is even on the trip. And I'm not going to lie - I have feelings of hostility about this. Why is he on my family vacation I can't go on? I know it's not his fault he happened to have the money and time, but I still can't help resent it.
While my parents are gone, they needed someone to come take care of the animals. So for the next week I will be staying at their house. This morning I woke up and tried to get everything in our apartment packed for a week (which is a big deal when there's a baby involved) while simultaneously getting myself ready, feeding Emmett breakfast, entertaining him, bathing him, and getting him dressed as well. I loaded the car up, stuck Emmett in, and headed up the hill to my moms (it's about a 25-30 min drive depending on traffic.) It was Emmett's naptime and I was hoping he'd fall asleep... but instead he ended up screaming most of the way. So there I was trying to sing Pat-a-Cake, Old McDonald, and other songs at the top of my lungs to ease his tears.
We arrive at my Mom's, and I set Emmett down to let the dog out and get things unpacked out of the car. Emmett still hasn't taken his nap, and now that he's in an unfamiliar place there's no chance of it. He's clingy and hungry but won't let me set him down to make him a bottle. I am on the verge of tears, wishing Jared was out of school to help me with all this, and even more so wishing I was at Newport Beach too. Eventually we both got so worn out and exhausted, that he finally fell asleep in my arms and I joined him not long after. It was a blissful 30 minutes until the dog started pounding on the glass and woke us both up.
(Deep Exhale) Let's just say I am excited to watch a movie and go to sleep tonight. Here's to hoping that Emmett at least somewhat sleeps in his unfamiliar bed.
PS- Sorry about the rant, sometimes a good vent session is just therapeutic. And I have to say, I feel better already :-)
I know what you mean, I try to keep my blog real...crapy student life and all. If it makes you feel better its rainy down here in SO Cal for your family might be all wet. I know how you feel and screaming babies in cars and doing everything and no one is there to even notice except your baby, that doesn't talk haha.
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