Wednesday Confessional

#4 - I'm a Bookworm

Most people that know me well are already familiar with my book obsession. So it's not exactly news. But I recently started The Hunger Games series, and I am in love. It's so creative, gripping, suspenseful, and romantic (c'mon there's always got to be a little love story thrown in there). I'm hooked. As I was finishing the last 100 pages of book 1, I already began my frantic search for #2, knowing I had to have it on hand or I'd die waiting!

It's not my usual thought provoking, semi-dark, deeper novel but I was in the mood for something lighter and thoroughly entertaining. These hit the spot. Perfect for reading during the day while simultaneously caring for a 5 1/2 month old baby. Trying to read something too deep that requires a lot of concentration is usually unfruitful.

So there you have it. A short confessional, but it's been a busy day and my OCD prevents me from letting a Wednesday pass where I neglect to post. No one out there would probably even notice, but I would. And I'd probably lose sleep over it. Seriously. [Hey you just got a second confession within my confession!] So no complaints!

Wednesday Confessional

#3 - I Love Yard Sales (and other good second hand deals i.e. Craigslist, KSL)

I love getting good deals!! It's so fulfulling to me! Bargain hunting, no matter the place, knowing that I got something really nice that everyone else paid five times the price for. I just bought Emmett a practically new, beautiful Britax convertible carseat for $65 on KSL! I am so stoked about it! Those things can be anywhere from $200-$300! He has started trying it out already, and he feels pretty good about himself sitting up like a big boy!

I also love thrift stores and yard sales because I love finding one of a kind items. Rare, vintage items that are unique and have character. Ones that no one else could ever copy or imitate because there's no other ones for sale out there. Last weekend I hit up a book sale from a retiring elementary school teacher who was clearing out her collection of childrens books. I picked up this loot for $4 for everything! Lots of them are brand new condition (and my sister whos going into elem. ed helped me pick out the good ones they've talked about in class).

And to my surprise... turns out the booksale was also a Yard Sale of other items! Imagine my excitement when I found this totally cool antique lamp for $5!

The pictures don't really do it justice, but I love the detailed parts on the top and bottom! I might switch out the lamp shade, that huge 70's shade is slightly ghetto fabulous. But at the same time it has character.

The best part? You can choose to light up just the bottom, crystal part of the lamp, just the top, or both at the same time! Genuis! Do they still make lamps like this? haha. All I know is I have a new reading lamp!

Oh and if you haven't watched the videos yet from my last post, go there now - you won't regret it!!

This is what happiness looks like

Here's a peek into playtime with Daddy

                                                             and this is Mommys version

5 months

My little man is 5 months old today! (That's 8 months for those of you who are counting from his actual birth date). SO hard believe it has really been eight months! Really?!

I haven't done an update since 3 1/2 months, but I wanted to get them on an even schedule so I held out til 5. He's changed and grown so much  in that little amount of time. He now weighs 17 pounds, 14 ounces! He is in the fun, adorable, chunky, playful, happy (most of this time), perfect baby stage. I just want him to stay like this forever!!

• Everytime he sees you his face lights up with a smile.
• Still has blue eyes and light hair - I think they're here to stay!
• He loves to laugh, and if Jared and I are telling a funny story to each other and cracking up - he always joins in laughing like he understands. lol.
• He can sit up by himself for little bits at a time
• He has rolling over from his tummy to his back down, but still working out the kinks from back to tummy (he can't quite get that arm out of the way yet)
• LOVES his stroller now that he rides in it like a big boy. We could spend all day out walking and he'd be content...and a lot of times we do.
• Likes to hang out in his exersaucer, but usually for only 10 minute increments. By that time he has worked himself up into a pretty bad mood that he can't pull off the toys that are attached to the tray and stick them in his mouth. The other day I "grounded" him from one of the toys that makes him especially angry and took it off the tray before I stuck him in. He spent the ten minutes sticking his hands into the empty hole and screaming in anger and confusion. HAHA. So sad.... and yet so funny and the same time!
• I call him my "Sous Chef". He loves sitting up on the kitchen counter in his bumbo and watching while I cook. He gives his opinions, and sometimes gets lucky and gets to hold the spoon or spatula for me.
• He is the most opinionated, demanding 5 month old I've ever seen in my life. He literally knows exactly what he wants, and already throws tantrums if he doesn't get it. I'm not exaggerating. It's hilarious.
• Started eating "solids". Eating Oatmeal cereal for now, and will get Stage 1 baby foods in about a week! 
• Likes to lay and watch the Playhouse Disney shows in the morning when we get up
• Still talks ALL the time. Usually fits into two categories: excited squeals, shrieks, babble, and giggles while he kicks his feet and throws out his arms out OR angry sounding babble or screams, frustrated lectures, and accompanying mad facial expressions.
• Can do detailed tasks with his hands now such as spin things, sometimes flips pages, occasionally presses the buttons on his interactive toys etc.
• Always sucking his thumb
• Not so interested in his swing anymore (sad day for Mom), and decided he doesn't want to be patient anymore during my showers.
• Somehow has learned to associate me with play and Dad with sleep because I can barely get him to nap for me during the day, but he ONLY sleeps when Dad babysits. It can be a bit of a problem. Especially when I come home at 9pm and find out he's been asleep for the past 3 hours
• Little cuddlebug - always wants to be in mommy's arms (which occasionally can be a bit trying, but most of the time is wonderful!)
• Digs his toes into the carpet and scootches himself forward (tiny amounts) while laying on his tummy.
• Still loves his baths, and always cracks up when I clean his cheeks and chin with the washcloth

Wednesday Confessional

#2 - I have Psoriasis

Some of you already know this, but there's probably a lot who don't. Psoriasis.org describes the condition as "a chronic, autoimmune disease that appears on the skin. It occurs when the immune system sends out faulty signals that speed up the growth cycle of skin cells. Psoriasis is not contagious."

I often get asked the same question: "What happened to your arm?" Because of its appearance and location near my elbow, it can look like I took a spill and got some road rash. Sometimes when I was younger, I would be embarrassed and reply "I fell", brushing it off really quickly. It may seem like a little thing, but it has such a huge impact on my everyday life. I unconciously will plan outfits around covering it, rarely wear my hair back in ponytails (which I love) because I'm afraid it will expose patches around my ears/neckline and wearing a swimsuit becomes dreadsome. It can affect your entire personality and confidence when you are so self-conscious of it. It doesn't bother me as much now, and being married to someone that accepts it and isn't bothered by it makes a huge difference. I was always stressed about what people would think while I was dating.



If you look closely at the left picture you can see it on my left elbow and upper right arm

Before getting pregnant with Emmett, I gave myself Enbrel shots once a week that cleared my skin of it. I stopped during pregnancy to protect Emmett, and as a result it is pretty much back as bad as it's ever been. I am in the process of trying to start back up on the Enbrel. I have always considered Psoriasis to be my "curse", but a few weeks ago Jared's Aunt said something that made me see it in a whole new perspective. She said, "That Psoriasis was the thing that saved your life, right?" She was right. I am part of a study they are doing on Psoriasis up at the University of Utah, and the day before I was admitted to the hospital, I had a Psoriasis study follow-up in Salt Lake. While doing the routine vital checks, they noticed my blood pressure was slightly high. That caused my to keep a close watch on my pressures for the next 24 hours, and I was able to miraculously catch the Pre-Eclampsia setting in. Because there are no real symptoms, chances are we wouldn't have known something was wrong until I either went into a seizure or stroked.  Although I still hate it, and can't wait for it to clear up.... I can now look at Psoriasis as my blessing.

*I have talked to Doctors and Psoriasis specialists, and my Pre-eclampsia had no correlation to Psoriasis (just in case anyone was wondering)

Emmett's Blessing

August 29th was a very special day for our family. We finally had a chance to bless Emmett in sacrament. It was also the first time he'd ever attended church!

~The Outfit~

~Church~

~The Breakfast~

Our spread included Cinnamon Rolls, Sour Cream Blueberry muffins, Zucchini Bread, 2 different types of Quiche, and Fruit. YUM!

~Family~

Emmett with both his Grandpas                         Me and my little stud                         4 Generations of Erickson Men!

Our Erickson Family                                                                             Our Whittaker Family

* Great Grandma Erickson and Great Grandma and Grandpa Flamm were also there, but I didn't have them in any pictures :-(

I've always known what a special, strong spirit Emmett is, and I couldn't help but tear up with joy over all the wonderful blessings he has in store. The bishop said it well when he stood up after the blessing and said, "All babies are miracles, but this one especially - and he let us know he was alive and strong today" (Emmett let out a few good screams during the blessing of course).

We felt so blessed to have our loving, supportive families there to share the special day with us. It is one we will cherish forever.

Wednesday Confessional

I decided it would be fun to to "divulge" something personal or unknown about myself every Wednesday. At least until I run out of secrets that is... haha. So here we go!

#1- I get really affected by my nightmares

What is it with dreams? Why do we have them? Why do they seem to have such a grasp on our minds? I've always wanted to keep a dream journal, but have never gone through with it because it's too much work.

The other night I had a dream that my Dad and little brother were driving and got in a car accident. I actually saw the car crash in my dream.  I woke up panicked and still can't shake the feeling. It can take me a week (sometimes even longer) to get a dream pushed from my mind. I think I must be a highly anxious person because I start having feelings like, "If I dreamed it, maybe it's going to happen" or "Maybe it's trying to warn me about something". The morning after the dream I went to church, and a lot of the talks/lessons dealt with death and eternal families, and I couldn't help but feel a sinking in my stomach. The next day, I learned that a close family friend had been moved to hospice because her fight with cancer was nearing an end. All those things combined have left me feeling kind of on edge the past couple days. Like there's a ticking clock, and some unknown tragedy is bound to happen.

About a year ago, I kept having a recurring dream. I had never had one before, and kind of just thought they only existed in movies for drama's sake. The exact details of the dream weren't always the same, but the story never changed. It was always me and another member of my family in the dream, but the person kept changing. We would somehow always hear someone being murdered (either in the next hotel room, outside the window, etc). Then it was always just implied in the dream, that whoever the killer was- was coming for us next, and we had no escape. I'd have a moment of panic, my heart stopping, and that's where I always woke up. I would have almost rathered that the dream continued on, no matter what the ending, because leaving me hanging right at that point had me waking up every morning with a feeling of despair I couldn't get rid of! The dream doesn't sound like it's anything particularly terrifying when I repeat it back now, but it was how vivid the dreams were, and how real the emotions I felt during it were. Emotions that seemed to linger throughout the next day, then I'd go to sleep and it would happen all over again.

It got to a point where I would avoid sleep. I wouldn't want to sleep because I knew what would happen when I closed my eyes. It was wearing down on me. I worked full time and the lack of sleep was starting to catch up to me. I ended up googling "recurring dreams" one night, curious about what kind of information/remedies would come up. I found a common response that basically said "The emotion you experience in your dream is one that is trying to to work it's way from your subconcious to to your concious mind. Once you can pinpoint the source you are getting this emotion from in real life, it will go away." I thought "whatever, psychology mumbo jumbo", but at this point I was getting desperate. I thought about how I felt in the dream when I know the killer is on his way towards me. Helpless. Powerless. Then I thought "Is there anything that would cause me to feel that way in real life?" Oddly enough, the answer I came up with was being homesick.  It was our first year of marriage, my first time without leaving Rexburg every few months for school breaks, and my first holidays away from home. I was having a hard time with the fact that my entire family was enjoying the California summer, while I slaved away in an office in Idaho. It was the first time that I wasn't in control of seeing my own family. We had to clear days with my work, his work, his school, make sure it didn't conflict with things his family already had planned, and then there was the obstacle of Jared and I agreeing how long we'd stay once we got there. It felt like everyone but me could decide when I saw my family and how long I could see them for.

The weirdest part is... I didn't have the dream that night! Or ever again for that matter. So was it that psycho analysis that did the trick? Maybe. Who knows? Whatever the reason, I was glad to get back to nights of peaceful slumber.

As I was finishing this post, Emmett fell asleep in my arms. Then all of the sudden he jumped awake, eyes wide, both arms flailing to the side...then drifted back off to sleep. Haha I guess the nightmares start young... poor guy!!

The First Grub

Emmett ate food like a big boy for the first time on Friday! He had a fine cuisine of oatmeal cereal. His first reaction was priceless, a look of joy and confusion all at once. I don't have a picture because we were filming with the video camera. Maybe if I'm feeling really ambitious one day, I'll post the video. It only took him about two bites to get the technique down, and then he was chowing down with big smiles on his face!

Dad got in on the feeding action too of course. We have a natural eater on our hands! I have a feeling Emmett & Food are quickly going to become best friends!

Redemption

...and you didn't think I was serious. Pedicure reinstated :-) 

Yours Truly

I never wanted my blog to become one of those that only posts pictures and updates about their babies, that no one particularly cares to read besides family. I am realizing though how quickly it's becoming that way. It's hard because you are so excited and in love with your little bundle of joy that you can't help but gush! And let's be honest, what life of her own does a stay at home mom really have left in that first while after bringing a new baby home? Unless you want to read about how walking to the mailbox to check the mail, and going to the dumpster on the other side of the parking lot have become eventful enough that I actually look forward to it each day?

It is late and both Jared and Emmett are asleep. I should probably be sleeping too, but it's hard to close my eyes when this moment of pure, interrupted peace is so rare. And so, for the sake of my blog, and for that little part of "me" that is down there hibernating somewhere, I am going to try to dig down deep and post what little I can pick out of my brain that doesn't have to do with bills, diapers, Jareds school schedule, or the sink full of dirty dishes.

Yesterday while I was clearing out the last of the medical bills I've had stacked up on my kitchen counter (yes, I had so many that it's taken me 8 months to deal with all of them. Thank goodness the state is footing the bill for my million dollar baby!), I came across three giftcards to Target clear back from our wedding. When we moved to Utah I wanted to bring them with us just in case there was a balance on any of them. I got online and found out that I had $90 on one of them! I was totally surprised, and so grateful I fought the urge to chuck them! So tonight we went to Target and bought a whole bunch of bath/toiletry items we're out of, and the board game Stratego. An entire cart full of stuff and not a penny out of my bank account! I was stoked. Not to mention, I'm a product junkie so my new bath stuff gives me a little bit of excitement. There's just something about new conditioner to wash your hair with, and new shaving cream to shave your legs with that gives a girl something to look forward to!

Speaking of beauty stuff, this past weekend I splurged and went and got a pedicure with my sister Kaity. And here I am 4 days later, the nail polish is already missing off my big toe and my pinky toe! I am so mad! Who pays $25 to have nail polish put on that lasts 3 days? I could have got better results with a 99 cent bottle of nail polish at home! And it's not like I've spent money and time on myself often lately, which just makes me that much madder! I think I'm going to march back down to the nail salon and tell them their nail polish was poor quality and insist that they repaint my toes! I don't mess around.

I recently read "The Other Boleyn Girl" and have since been fascinated by the history of Anne Boleyn. She was King Henry VIII's mistress who schemed to work herself into the Queens's throne, and eventually ended up getting executed with charges of adultery, incest, and even witchcraft. It was alleged that Anne wanted so badly to carry the Kings son (and thus ensure her position as queen) that she slept with her brother George hoping he could impregnate her. Both she and George were beheaded along with an entire group of men at court, with accusations that Anne had committed adultery with them all. It is still unknown whether these accusations have any truth. It is possible that Anne was so determined to rise to power that  she basically "sold her soul to the devil", but then again Henry VIII had about seven wives during his life (at least I think it's seven) and had to find ways to get rid of the old one when he found a new replacement. So who knows? I just don't think she really could have done that, I'm skeptical. If she did, she puts todays golddiggers to shame!

Anyway I should probably go to bed but thanks for listening to the ramblings of my crazy, chaotic mind! Hopefully it was somewhat entertaining. Until next time!