waxing nostalgic

There's something about the end of the year that always brings out the emotional, sentimental side of me. It is compounded by the fact that at the end of each year I am working on photo books, and a photo calendar for the coming year.

I love looking back at the pictures taken earlier in the year. I feel like each shot was just snapped yesterday, and I can remember everything that was going on in that moment. For a second I am transported back to that shot and feel the laughter bursting out of my chest when Emmett came running down the hall in the giant sombrero he found in the closet, and one flip flop. I feel the sun on my shoulders and my smile a mile wide as I spent my first summer at Seven Peaks with Emmett in his cute ladybug raft. And I feel a boiling sense of anxiety as I look at last year's birthday party and think "that can't be right. We JUST had that Shrek party, how is it time for another one?" Those are the moments I dislike, and feel saddened by the unfairness of time.
It's an uncanny feeling staring at pictures that seem so close yet so distant at the same time - Recalling every memory with perfect clarity, yet feeling as if it's a distant life so far away.

While looking at my 2013 calendar, which just arrived today, I've been overwhelmed with gratitude. I can literally count my blessings with the turn of each and every page. We've had such a great year, and been blessed with many wonderful opportunities. Moving into our first house has been such a fun, exciting step for us and enabled us to share so many family-bonding activities. The adventures of mowing our lawn for the first time and baking zucchini bread fresh from our garden...
I love our life, and I love the happiness I am able to feel again and again by looking at these captured memories. Though to anyone else it's just a picture, to me it's like a magical trip in a time machine.

Ok now this is is the part where I pull myself together, and force myself back into the present moment. In order to do so we'll look at ONE more picture - but this time I'll share it with you:

How can you not feel happy (and strong) looking at this??  :)

dear santa

 

Dear Santa,

I'm trying very hard to be good this year. There are a lot of toys I want. Please bring me a:

1.) Strider Bike (check!)

 

2.) Mater Helmet & Bell

3.) "Lawnmower" (as seen in above letter - but what he's really asking for is a power wheels quad, preferably "lightning ah-queen". He confuses it with Grandpas Lawnmower :)

4.) Kitchen

(Any kitchen will do, but this is the one mommy wants to get me. She's been scouting KSL for months and the other day she missed this one by 30 seconds. I think she almost cried.)

5.) My own Fire Station

 

 5.) Giant Pegboard (check!)

 

As you can see, my wants are small. I do not ask for much.  I can't wait for Christmas, and all the fun things we are going to do to celebrate!!

Love,

Emmett

 

novemberrrrr

November is usually pretty cold, but this one has been unique! We had a giant snowstorm Friday and Saturday, and Emmett loved every single second of it. He is still reveling in the aftermath actually.

I, on the other hand, have mixed feelings. I always love the beauty and peace of the first snowfall. The way the the world is quiet and everything is bathed in clean, powdery white.  I always feel like I've been transported into a Christmas movie.  BUT.. its not Christmas yet! The problem is after like one month,  I'm done with it and ready for spring. So the fact that it hit early this year makes me a little nervous. Am I going to be sick of it by the time Christmas rolls around?

Regardless, I am more excited about it than usual because Emmett's joy over the "no" (snow) is infectious. Plus he looks adorable bundled up in his winter coat and light-up Lightning McQueen snow boots. We've already built our first snowman, shoveled our walks (which he probably loved even more than the snowman), and I can't wait to take him sledding for the first time! Having our own yard full of snow is going to be a winter wonderland for him.

Don't mind the tag on his coat, he was too excited to even let me cut it off!

Speaking our our house, I decided it was meant for the snow. It was cute in summer, but I feel like a rooftop of snow and white topped bushes are the perfect look for this cozy little cottage.

Don't you agree?

all hallows eve

Halloween was especially fun this year because we got to celebrate it all day long. Provo is such a great city to live in and organizes so many fun family activities, especially around the holidays. I really appreciate everything they do to make our community such an enjoyable place to live.

Emmett started off first thing in the morning by dressing up and attending his preschool Halloween party.

We then spent the afternoon Trick or Treating along Center Street (one my favorite places here, hence our family picture locale- coming soon!) 

The Chinese restaurant even handed out fortune cookies :)

This cute picture was taken as part of a costume contest they did

That evening we headed over to the ward "Trunk or Treat", then headed up to my Moms for some MORE trick or treating!

From top left we've got Troy Polamalu 1 & 2, Cruella & Jasper, River Dancers 1 & 2, and Minnie Mouse (and of course my little golfer)

Until next year Halloween! We will miss you!

isn't there something wrong here?

The other day Jared and I were catching up on the latest episode of Vampire Diaries (which has really taken a turn South this season, if I may). We couldn't help but laugh at the the cheesy overdramaticized scenes between Stephen and Elena now that she's a vampire (oops, spoiler!!)

During one of their steamy little escapades, my mind wandered - as usual- and began contemplating society's current fascination with vampire love. Based off the past five year's books, movies, and TV shows, I think it's fair to say a large amount of people are enamored with this human/vampire love affair idea. Or even vampire/vampire. But what I was mulling over was... WHY?

I will admit there is a certain turn on to the whole secretive, supernatural, superhuman idea. But that concession kind of disturbs my mind a little bit.

We're intrinsically attracted to cannibalism? That's what it comes down to right? Something inside people clicks on in response to these blood sucking, human devouring vampires. We are disgusted by the thought of cannibals, yet lovestruck with vampires? Interesting...

Does it not seem a little grotesque that society in general finds this blood sucking romance to be so steamy? Perhaps its the feral, feline-like attributes that our minds enjoy?

By this point, Stephen and Elena's little romp in the woods had ended and my mind returned to the plot. But what do you think? Any thoughts??

PS anyone else wishing the whole Damon thing would happen already?!

ladies and gentleman, the greatest show on earth

I had high expectations for my 27th birthday celebration, and I think they were well lived up to. I threw a murder mystery party, and since I have a fascination with the circus, that was naturally the theme. Plus since it was the weekend before Halloween I thought it would make for some great costumes (and I was right!)

So Ladies & Gents, I present to you....The Hargrove Family Circus

 

 Here we are in all our glory, Harold & Matilda Hargrove (the Circus Owners)

Many tasty concessions were served, and each character's objectives were given out

Then the mingling / crime solving began

 

From top left: The Strong man and the Tightrope walker, The Trapeze Artist, The FBI Agent, The Tattooed Man and the Skinny woman, the Clown (AKA the Murderer!), the Knife Thrower and Sword Swallower

The Trapeze Artist Part II, The Ringmaster and his assistant FuManchu, The Deputy and the Animal Trainer, The Ticket Taker and the Lion Tamer, The Clown murdering Ariel Swinger, Animal Trainer(again) with the Acrobat

And a few more family shots for good measure. 

It was such a fun and memorable night, and I am so grateful to have such wonderful friends and family to share it with. I live for hosting big events, so everyone making time and participating was the perfect gift. It's going to be hard to top this one!

me & my shadow...

I love this boy more than life itself. I want him to stay my little shadow forever.

 

this is halloween, halloween, halloween

That's Emmett's favorite song to sing this month. I have always LOVED Halloween (second only to Christmas), so I couldn't be happier that Emmett has grown to share my excitement. We went all out decorating the house, and have watched "The Nightmare before Christmas" at least 5 times. We've been to pumpkin patches, carved pumpkins, made Halloween sugar cookies, and frequent our favorite place, Cornbelly's.

Cornbelly's is a huge fall festival/carnival. There are so many fun things to do - mostly for kids, but there is a giant corn maze and haunted houses for adults at night. Here are some pictures of our adventures there.

Anxiously awaiting the winner of the duck race

Classic Dad - Racing the pedal cars so competitively he rolled himself :)

oh yes, i rode the mechanical bull. And did pretty WELL if I say so myself...

PS WHAT is the deal with blogger and vertical pictures?! Why wont it rotate them?? Anyone?

when life hands you lemons

I am so grateful for your comments on  my last post. After I published it, I was a little nervous and thought "maybe that was a little TOO real for the blogosphere"...  then I didn't get any comments for awhile and was like "uh oh". So it was reassuring to read many of you feel the same way some days (or even some hours)

I've come to realize that many moms have these same feelings of inadequacy, a feared inability to keep up with the supermom next door. Or sometimes on the next blog. Or facebook page.

I'm sure I'm guilty of it as well. We use these blogs as our record keeping. What do we want to remember? The good times - those moments our hearts are overflowed with joy. So that's what we write about. And generally leave out the 70% in between when we're pulling our hair out and chasing our toddler down the street while he rides away on his Lightning Mcqueen scooter in nothing but a diaper (oh that's just me? awesome).

This isn't his scooter, but close enough

There is nothing wrong with being positive and sharing our happiest experiences. Yet the problem lies when you look at everyone else's lives and ONLY see the wonderful things. Then you look around your messy house, realize you're still in your pajamas, and your self esteem takes a minor blow.

Soooo my point is, why do we do this to each other? We're not doing it intentionally, but it seems so many of us feel this competition to maintain our supermom statuses. To prove that we've got this mom thing under control. Stepford husband? Check. Barefoot Contessa quality dinner on the table at 5? Check. Perfectly behaved toddler in his meticulously clean Gap clothes? Check.  Sound familiar? And the reality is... no one has this mom thing under control. It's a continual work in progess, but most of the time I enjoy the journey.

In fact, I'd like to take this moment to share a little story about my shower the other day :) Speaking of things I'd like to remember, I think I'll get a kick out of this a few years down the road:

 Here I was, trying to hurry and wash the shampoo out of my hair before the hot water ran out. Mind you Emmett was in the shower with me, as he usually is. So I close my eyes and start scrubbing the shampoo out of my hair, and all sudden "WAHHHH!", Emmett starts screaming in pain. So I open my eyes to see he's taken my Head and Shoulders, tried to apply it to his own head like Mom, and it has subsequently ran down his head and into his eyes. So I hurry and grab a washcloth, help him dry all the stinging shampoo from his eyes.
Once the crisis has been successfully averted, I return once again to the task of removing the remains of shampoo from my own hair. I turn around to kick the hot water up a titch, turn back towards Emmett... and what do I see? He's gotten a hold of my razor and is shearing his beautiful golden locks like a sheep!!
(Yes this is the cheap disposable razor that doesn't seem to  even work when applied to my leg hair)
I frantically grabbed the razor from his hands and assess the damage, almost in tears. His hair!!! (I had already made sure his scalp had no injuries of course). LUCKILY he has SO much hair, when it's all laid down, you can't see the couple of bald chunks he crazily removed from his own head.
Needless to say the shower ended as quickly as possible.

I'd like to say this event was a rare, one time occassion. But that would be a lie. In fact, I'm feeling pretty generous tonight so I'm going to share one more "Emmett-capade".

Just the other day Emmett decided to run out front in nothing but his birthday suit and his black slip-on dress shoes. (I'm laughing out loud now just recalling this situation). I was calling after him humorously "HEY! Get BACK HERE!!". And he thought it was hilarious. So he just kept standing outside our window on the porch. taunting me, laughing at his own hilarity. I was worn out and figured "eh, there's no one out front right now and he's just on the porch... it'll be fine for a minute". (At this point he's climbed up on the little bistro table on the porch and is beating on the window screaming and laughing himself silly) Then I hear it. Laughter. Lots of it. Coming from next door. And we're talking the non LDS, tattooeed family with a bunch of twenty-somethings next door. So I feel a little embarrassed and figure I should probably at least put a diaper on the kid.
I grab a diaper, head outside, and of course when Emmett sees me he scrambles down off the table and tries to take off running (which causes the group hanging out in the front yard next door to laugh louder). So I scoop him up, carry him inside, and lay him down to strap that sucker on him. And whaddya know, that wiggle worm wrestles his way free, and goes tearing back out front in his birthday suit (and dont forget the dress shoes, they're still on) squealing in delight. Of course my audience next door erupts even louder. and at this point all I can do is smile, wave, and take a bow. I didn't reeeeally take a bow, but you know what I mean.

Pretty much, my life is fun(ny?). Crazy, but fun. There's never a dull moment in this casa.

supermom is a myth

I am exhausted. Nothing in this world can prepare you for a toddler boy. I hardly sit down from 7am - 7pm while Jared is gone at school (and let's be honest, it's not like I get to sit down after he gets home either).
All you people wondering when the next baby is coming... I don't know. Truthfully there are days where I don't think I have it in me. And we all know I'm not meant to be one of those women with 5 children running around and 1 on their hip. No no no no... If that's what floats your boat, I fully support it - but I fear I would have a nervous breakdown.

Running around doing what everyone BESIDES yourself wants is hard. When do we get to relax? Where is that moment on the movies when the husband walks in and says "honey you must be so tired, why don't you go take a load off?" When can we do something as simple as showering or going to the bathroom in peace? And WHEN did a grueling run (while pushing a 40 pound jogger with said toddler in tow) become considered our break?

*Note to any men reading (of which there is none- besides you grandpa) : just because we don't leave to school or "work" in the morning doesn't mean we work any less hard. It's mentally and emotionally exhausting in a way you'll probably never experience. We do nothing, yet everything at the same time.

I love being a mom more than anything in the world. I don't mean to give the wrong impression. When i see that infectious smile of pure joy light up Emmett's face, every single second is worth it. But somedays it's hard.

And to anyone out there that says otherwise... I'm calling your bluff.

the first getaway

Sometimes I feel like life is a crazy rat race and I try and try to get everything done in the day, but somehow only ever manage to accomplish like 60% of what I'd like to do, and so the cycle continues on and on...

One of the things on my neverending list is getting caught up to date on the blog, so I can quit doing boring catch-up posts, and actually write something worth reading.

Well I haven't quite made it to the latter yet, but here's one step closer to catching up!

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Jared and I went on our first overnight trip at the end of June. We spent the night up in a nice resort in Midway as an early celebration for our Anniversary. Here's a shot of the view on the drive up.

Can't you just smell the mountain air looking at it??

Our room had a box of chocolate dipped strawberries waiting for us, which I was pretty excited about.

Unbeknownst to us, this cute little vacation town shuts down at 8pm. Like really shuts down. So Jared and I had to go on a wild goose chase looking for something to eat. The only thing we could find open was a Domino's pizza carry-out. So we took our pizza back to our room and laughed about the grand, romantic meal we were having on our special anniversary getaway.

Aside from that little hiccup - it felt so amazing to just sit back in the jacuzzi and/or sauna and have nothing on my mind. And especially amazing because it was the coolest hot tub I've ever been in.

(yes thats a tree coming out of the waterfall)

I also spent some time basking in the sun on a lawnchair (one of my favorite things *which I literally had not done since before Emmett was born!! There is no lounging on his watch!) However, Idaho boys apparently don't know how to appreciate a good lay in the sun... I guess you can't blame them - what opportunity do they have to practice it? So my basking was short-lived. Yet still glorious.

After the dinner adventure, we figured we had a little room to splurge on the resorts gourmet breakfasts (which were delicious but disappointingly small. Your buck doesn't go far here).

 

We finished the day out by biking the hills of Midway (a real rush on the way down, but boy did uphill suck!), racing down the Alpine Slides, and shopping at the Park City Outlets.

We came to the consensus that little, even local, getaways are a necessity in any relationship. It was just a nice recharge - and honestly was one of the only times we had nothing to worry about besides enjoying each others company. So here's to (hopefully) many more anniversary trips to come!